By Kenneth Stepp
Being someone’s someone. To be able to say, I’m taken. Knowing somewhere there is someone missing me when I’m not there. These are wonderful thoughts. And if you are one the same journey I am on. This is the goal. To matter to someone we do not share DNA with. I have to admit. I thought I had this or was on my way to having this a few times. Near misses, but great lessons. Priceless memories and in some cases. Friend building. If the romantic relationship crashed. Friendship is an option I want every time. But the goal… It stays the same, doesn’t it?
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
I use to have a list. In this list were the qualities my girl would have to have. One day I looked at my list and realized. I’m not buying a new car. I’m searching for my soulmate. My list these days look less like a list and more like a scribble on a page. A keen intellect and a kind heart. I could have missed my fated one because I was being silly. Were the things on my list important? They were at the time. I’m more open to new experiences these days. If she really likes something I have never cared for. Perhaps I can look at it with fresh eyes. Maybe she doesn’t care for art. I love art. She may like it with me. Making it work is more important that a forever hunt. Do you have a list?
“When you’re in love, you’re capable of learning everything and knowing things you had never dared even to think, because love is the key to understanding of all the the mysteries.”
― Paulo Coelho
I remember dating a girl years ago. We were crazy about one another. Had everything in common. Loved all the same things. She vowed all her love to me. It was magical. Unexpected too. One day we had, “the talk”. She didn’t want to see anyone else. I didn’t either. So what are you telling me, I asked? She said, tell everyone you are taken. I can’t tell you how that felt. It’s an amazing feeling. I told everyone that would listen actually. Of course finding out that I was her little secret took the wind out of my sails. To know that I was less important than what others thought. It was devastating. To this day it still makes me feel kind of foolish. But, it was a lesson. One I will never repeat.
“When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, “What was it that you wanted and why didn’t you fight for it?”
― Shannon L. Alder
I’m not big on giving advice. As I’ve pointed out many times. I have failed at 100% of the romantic relationships I’ve ever had. That’s why I’m on this journey. If I did offer advice. I’d say throw your list away and find someone of great quality rather than someone who meets your criteria. You never know what can happen. What if I met my “Her” and she didn’t like art? Perhaps she would have with me. Give it a shot. The only thing you have to lose is loneliness.