By Kenneth Stepp


Options… Aren’t they great? We love options. That’s why they hand you a menu when you walk into a restaurant. You can order anything on it. Feel like shopping? Visit Amazon and the options are endless. Options are fantastic. The more the merrier, right? Well, not so fast. In the dating arena options can be relationship killers. I remember back when I became single again. Someone told me to visit a dating site and try online dating. All of the sudden I am looking at thousands of single women. I was overwhelmed but so excited. Surely one of them would be the one for me. It just didn’t work out that way for me. I doubt it does for almost anyone.


I have met so many wonderful girls on this journey. Attractive, smart, and interesting girls. But when you talk with them about their personal journey and they say they have been single for many years. You know something is messed up in the single’s community these days. It is my belief this singles journey is much easier for men than women. Safety alone makes it so. I’ve never had a thought for my safety when I am going to meet someone for the first time. The girls need to always have safety in the back of their mind. That’s just natural. Or should be. I’ve heard horror stories about some encounters. Stalkers too.


Having mentioned safety as huge difference from the girls and the guys. It isn’t the reason I believe the game is tilted in the men’s favor. I believe it’s “options”. When a girl looks online at the men available. Most are pickier. Most actually read profiles to find someone compatible. Most dream of having that one special man come sweep her off her feet. Her prince or knight in shining armour. They dream of that faithful, loyal, attentive guy they will grow old with. Then there are the men. Make no mistake about it. When they go online, they see a sea of girls, just ready to be chosen. They see each profile picture as an option. Forever may cross their mind every now and then. But most aren’t really looking past next week. It really is a jungle out there and ladies. You may simply be an option.


That is a bleak outlook I have isn’t it? The truth is. I went through a phase when I was like that. I would have made an awful mate. My head would have swiveled every time a girl walked by. That lasted about a year with me. I’m not sure if the guys I am talking about are just going through a phase. I’m not sure it’s not a lifestyle either. This being single at this stage in life is just hard and confusing. There are so many perceived options that something real could show up and a guy will be too distracted to recognize it. I’m not apologizing for my entire gender. But us guys need to remember how to treat a girl. I open doors for my dates, or any woman nearing a door. But I’m in a footrace to the door sometimes because others do not. So they don’t even wait for it. It’s a small thing, but it shows respect in a world where little exists.

When we meet a girl of quality, we need to remember this one important thing. She deserves to be a priority, not an option. If you forget this. Another man will remember it and you will have lost a genuine relationship. Imagine realizing your error two years down the road while sitting home alone on a Saturday night. You have become bored with the girls online, the bar scene, and having no one to talk to with any substance at all. It’s at that point that you are ready to meet someone special. And not a minute before…