By Kenneth Stepp

 

Love at first sight… In the mind of a hyper-logical person like me. That is just an absurd thought. After all. What is love? This has been my quest for years. To understand love. To know what real unconditional love is. To understand how love works.  So what is love? I know more what it isn’t than what it is. But I have learned much about this mystery. I believe we were created to love. I believe our hearts were created to be shared with a mate. A soulmate. But when does this happen? When and how does love come?

 

I’m in an online singles group. They have events all the time so members can meet face to face. It’s really a fun thing. We talk to one another online, sometimes for years. I attended my first one last year. I was actually the cohost of the event. I was able to meet and hug a lot of girls I had known but not met. It was amazing. I had so much fun. I had a conversation with all of them. There was one who I had not spoken with very much “virtually.” We began talking at the event. I was mesmerized. Honestly, it was unexpected and a first for me. I knew I was completely taken by her.

 

Over time we tried to make a connection. Actually several times. It just wouldn’t happen. We both tried. But “life” and people got in the way. I saw her again at our last event. Only the second time we were actually in the same room at the same time. Always with a crowd. Always aware of one another. We spoke like we were almost strangers. I guess on paper we are. But in reality…  Well. We were cordial. Seeing her brought this memory up again. And, as always, I had to write about it. 

 

Today. I am left with wonder and traveling back in time. I remember that day on the balcony where we all had lunch. I wrote something the next day but never published it. Since life is about emotions, experiences, and people. I decided to publish it today. “The Flame”

 

“If you’ve never met someone that shook you to the core. You won’t understand this. When in her presence the oxygen seemed to leave the room and the only way you could breathe was to stare at her. If this has never happened to you, this won’t make any sense to you.

 

When in her presence I felt I was in the arctic freezing. And she possessed all the warmth there was. Her heart was a fire from which all life existed and was sustained, if only for that moment.

 

My life depended on staying engaged in some way with her. The air I breathe, the light that allows me to see, was in her control. The heart in my chest only beat that day because she allowed it.

 

That day my heart was a fire, I believe hers was too. We both felt the heat inside us. We both knew something special happened that day. We both knew one day the fire in our hearts would join and those fires will become one flame. A mighty flame that would burn forever. We both saw the future that day. We both saw the flame…”

 

I have to admit. It’s not as poetic as I’d like. But on that day it was powerful. Does this happen often? Not in my world. In my singles journey, this was a one time thing. Meeting someone that had such a profound impact on my life. Well. It was amazing. It was intoxicating. Trying to look cool when all this goes on inside you is impossible. Was that love at first sight?

 

“He danced closely but never touched.

The air between them crackling and sparkling like an electrical fire

that must be contained quickly

or it will take everything.”

Anne Fall

 

Memories are powerful. Some can be dangerous. Some can be pleasant. Many can confuse and confound. I write about them as they come to mind. I write about them when they are in front of me. What do we do with these memories when they appear again? Many have regrets. Some relieve them. A few are able to forget them. And one. Well, he just writes about them.

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